I Had to Walk Back...

Can you guess from where?
The plan was, yesterday, to go on a nice quiet hack for 20 minutes, straight down the tractor path and let the prisoner stretch his legs. 

His version of 'nice quiet hack' and 'stretch his legs' have 2 very very different meanings depending on if you ask him, or if you are asking me.  What I got, was a: bucking, prancing, snorting, head shaking, spinning, bucking, half-rearing, head in my face, assh*ole of a horse.  To the point where - because by this time, he had planted his feet and spun around on me three times - I got off and WALKED THE DAMN HORSE BACK - because in my mind, the last thing I wanted was for him to hurt himself even further. I was pissed Beyond Belief.  It didn't help matters, that I could barley keep him from bolting every 3 steps and he was happier circling around me in a trot, then walking back calmly beside me...

That was me, yesterday.



He has NEVER acted like that with me before. Ever. I was pissed. Beyond Belief and had a moment where the option of sending him to the glue factory was looking like a good one.  Rather then let him win - I got on him in the indoor and made him walk (although he would have preferred to jigg/prance) for 20 minutes.  I was pissed Beyond Belief and could be heard muttering under my breath 'torn ligaments my ass.'



DVME mentioned to me, after my really annoyed message to her: 'Some horses just can't be walked under saddle. He might be one of them.'  Sigh, she might be right. 

At this point in time, I am leaning towards not riding him for the next 3 months...simply because, I do not want anything WORSE to happen to him, should we be riding and he decides to pull whatever crap he was up to yesterday again.  Not worth it.  Maybe it was just the typhoon force winds? Maybe it was because I shouldn't hack a TB the first time he has been 'ridden' in a week.  Who knows.  There are a ton of other horses for me to ride.  Kelly has even said that she would let me event one of her horses this summer...but, I am not sure how I feel about that...just wouldn't be the same.  I do know, I can't not ride for the next 3 months. I do know it is going to suck.  I do know it isn't fair.  I do know that we have a Plan to get Chester better. 

The rest, is up to him.

(And, he is going to be grounded for the rest of his life.)

And Then I Got To Thinking...

Rolex Guest Blog numero uno --> http://ecogold.blogspot.com/2011/04/carries-rolex-experience-and-then-i-got.html

OKay kids - off to build a solitary confinement cell.
Wish me luck.

What Are You Going To Do...? Sit In The Corner And Eat Worms...?

That was my father's response when he called me yesterday evening looking to get an update with Chester and after listening to me sob uncontrollably for a good 5 15 minutes.  After being able to digest what I learned yesterday - and speaking to the Boss and my dad, I have had a tough 24 hours and made some pretty tough decisions.  BUT, we have a plan. 
The hardest thing now - is telling everyone - over and over and over and over again - what is wrong with Chester. Saying it out loud, effing blows beyond belief.  And, for the record, while I appreciate being told "Everything happens for a reason", "I'm so sorry", "It could be worse", "He will be Okay" and "Showing isn't everything",  IT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE HEARING RIGHT NOW!! Okay, Braff, deep breath and continue. 
Someone who I have never met before in my life, mentioned to me yesterday, "When it comes to horses, it is a good idea not to have a plan that goes beyond 3 months".  Makes sense right? Especially considering how quickly things can change when it comes to our four legged friends.  Although my plan does go for longer then that length of time, I am going to focus on the next 90 odd days and attempt to keep myself together in doing so.
When I got home yesterday, I was not in the best frame of mind - as you could imagine - DVME bbm's me and says 'What are you doing for dinner? Fancy burritos?" Considering I was planning on having diner with my friends Jack and Jim, I thought it might have been a better idea to have dinner with her and her husband....so long as the Chester talk was non existent.
When it comes to the next 90 days, a lot is going to happen and we are going to follow protocol as follows:
X-Rays
Another set of x-rays will be taken, just to completely rule out any problems with the bones in his foot. While DVME is certain it is soft tissue damage - most likely along his coffin bone - the only way we can rule OUT any bone problems are with x-rays.  At a cost of $285...more then likely for 'nothing'.  However, by doing the x-rays, we confirm 100% that it is soft tissue damage. This will happen in the next week or so - either right before ROLEX!!! (YAY, the ONE thing I am looking forward too) or immediately after I am back.
Solitary Confinement
If you recall, DVME said, 'well, it starts with 3 months of stall rest...' and I promptly cut her off.  Sorry, but that is NOT the best thing for Chester, especially given what happened in February and March and especially because of his UFP. Ain't. Happening. So, my project for tomorrow, will be to build him a small outdoor cell.  Small enough that he can't run around like a frigging moron, big enough so he can a - be outside b - walk around a little and c - be able to see his friends...who are clearly all bad influences on his moronic behaviour...maybe something like 30 x 30?  I am not sure.  There are a bunch of gates hanging around the barn which BO says I can use.  We will see how I make out.
Trail Horse
Chester, will be the nicest trail horse in Ontario no wait, Canada no wait, North America for the next 3 months.  We are allowed to walk under saddle only.  That said, if we wanted to walk for 2 hours every day, that is allowed.  The ONE thing I have going for me in this case is that summer is coming and the farm land we have to hack on is the best in the area. Hands down.
Shock Wave Therapy
This is where is gets interesting.  At this point in time, we are 99.9% sure that his new rads will come back clean thereby confirming soft tissue damage in his front left.  This sort of injury, takes nothing but time to heal... AND, some very newish forms of therapy to assist in the strengthening of torn ligaments/tendons.  Sound interesting? When DVME and I were talking about the 'what now' one of the first things she said to me was 'you should consider doing ShockWave Treatments, do you know what those are?"  Immediately, I thought of an article I had read recently. The article was written by Samantha Clark (whom I have never met, but who I want to be like), which was posted on her blog via Eventing Nation. --> http://eventingnation.com/samanthalclark/2011/04/shock-wave-therapy---ouch.html
In a nutshell, Shock Wave Therapy (SWT) is basically is a non-invasive treatment that can speed the healing of many types of orthopedic and soft tissue injuries and conditions. 
Shockwave is a pressure wave – any action that displaces its surrounding medium is a shockwave. The ripple created when a stone is thrown into a pond is a shockwave. The shockwaves used in equine medicine are generated in a fluid medium inside a transducer head and are then transmitted readily through skin, fat, and muscle. The high energy waves are focused within the transducer head so that the shockwave can be directed to the precise area of the injury. When shockwaves hit an area of higher acoustic impedance, such as bone, the waves slow dramatically and a large amount of energy is released into the surrounding tissue. (Basically by strengthening the area where the original injury occurred .) Is this painful? Well, yes, it is. (Check out the video in the above link.)  Chester will be sedated during the procedure.  He will get 3 treatments, 3 weeks apart at $300/shot.  Sigh - does this horse think I am made of money?  Sigh. Good-bye fancy EcoGold Saddle pad I was going to buy at Rolex. However, nothing but GOOD can come as a result of these treatments, the end result being an even stronger ligament/tendon then before the injury.

Yes, I feel like we are moving backwards..

What Actually Happened?

Remember how he was getting better...after about 2.5 months?  And then I started riding him and then he got worse? I immediately thought - OMFG - I pushed him too much and it was my fault.  That was quickly put to rest by DVME. "Absolutely NOT. He relapsed because he was out in the field running around like a moron and acting like a 2 year old. The twisting/turning/bucking/rearing, was what caused the relapse, NOT you." Well thank god my horse is hurt because he is a moron and not because of something I did. Yea, makes me feel better. (Not.) The damn horse will be lucky if I EVER let him into a field again.  If I have anything to say about it, he will be grounded for the rest of his life.

Long Term

We might be able to trot by July or August. Our season, will be non existent. I do not expect to jump anything until October or November...If at all.  There is a risk that Chester will not heal properly - regardless of following protocol. It might just happen that way. I don't want to have to think about that, but I will keep it in the back of my mind.  He is beautiful and will make a beauty of a dressage horse for a lady who doesn't want to jump should it come down to that.

He has good feet. He has a good mind. He is in good shape. He is pretty fit all things considering. And he is in an environment where he gets nothing but attention and praise and treats and pats constantly.  I am going to do everything I can to ensure this horse has EVERY opportunity he needs to heal - and heal properly.  I love that horse like nothing else on this planet - he knows it - I know he loves me back.  And, while I can think of other things I would rather be doing for the next 3 months; I still have Chester, Chester has me and we will get through it together.  Geeze - don't we make quite the pair?  The unemployed HR Manager and the Gimp of an Event Horse.   

Remember the x-rays? And how I think it is kind of stupid to spend that money on something we are pretty sure will come back clean?  Well, what's $285 if I am spending $900 on Shock Wave Treatment?  And, what IF (that's a Big, What IF, there actually IS something wrong with the bone?  It'd save me $900.)
You know the WORST about this whole thing?? One of the very FIRST things I wrote on this blog when I first started it about a year and bit ago was our short-term goal: Bromont 3 Day, Training Level, June, 2011. Guess we fell a bit short on that one.
So - Am I going to sit in the corner and eat worms? NO - I am going to stick to the above plan, worry about building a damn solitary confinement paddock tomorrow and then the following 88 days after that...

This Program Is Not Suitable For Children...Or Kittens...

Well, DVME, won.
There is a lot of information I have to process. So for now, because it is all I can handle, this is what I know for sure:
Chester has soft tissue damage in his front left.
We're looking at at least 3 months of stall rest (which I abruptly put a kibosh on given what happened last time and BO and I are building him a small turnout tomorrow and Thursday.)
Then turn out in a small paddock
Then we can maybe start to trot around August or maybe July if we are lucky
He may or may not fully recover.
I have a lot to sort out, a lot to process, a lot of decisions to make.  But one thing I know for certain, is Chester, will not be eventing this summer...with the slight slight slight possibility of never again on the side.  DVME wanted me to be prepared for that.
Insert tears here.

Just The Facts...And How I Am Having A Hard Time With Them...

It has been 3 1/2 months.
I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed.  I feel like we have are about to hit another huge road block which will prevent Chester from being able to show AGAIN this summer.  Don't jump all over me and call me pessimistic and I am thinking the worst etc etc.  I am attempting to be rational and I don't think I am being unrealistic at all given the Facts. Hear me out.

I'm not going to lie. I am a little apprehensive about what we are about to do tomorrow with Chester.  It is REALLY hard to attempt to make the right decision, when the people who you need to help you make those right decisions are all telling you completely different things.

I have one person - DVME - who is sure that the problem is in his foot.  "Carrie, do you know how much can go wrong in there?"

I have another person - The Boss - who isn't convinced it is in his foot at all. "Why would it be in his FL foot if he is having difficulty around corners and in a small circle to the right, doesn't want to cross over his hind legs?"

I have another person - Farrier - who was convinced there was never anything wrong in his foot to begin with...especially after his clean rads.

I have another person - Dr. Cove - who cleared his entire body - shoulders included and has adjusted him twice.  His adjustments have held.

I have another person - yours truly - who really doesn't know WHAT to think anymore.  I know Chester doesn't feel right, I know he shuffles in front and I know that he sort of stabs the ground with his FL. His hind end is moving evenly with no resistance...the only place I see something out of whack, is in his FL, but, Boss isn't convinced, but DVME IS...ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.

JUST THE FACTS
- December 30 - Chester spooks - to the left - 20 minutes into our ride and comes up head bobbing dead lame.  I give him a couple days, don't feel any heat/swelling and he is then on again/off again lame.
- DVME comes out as a favour for me, we watch him move - he of course moves perfectly when she is there - and she chalks it up to him being really stiff because of his stifles, it is winter, they don't move around as much, we know this horse does better with more movement...makes sense, but I am not 100% convinced.
- January 25 - I go get him from the field in the morning...and he walks back to the barn on 3 legs.
- January 26 - DVME comes out, hoof testers in hand. We trot him, lunge him, flex him...he comes up dead lame in his front left...after flexing his ankle. DVME says Abscess. Horse stays inside.
- The first 2 weeks of February - we poultice, wrap, horse stays inside and gets more and more depressed. Abscess bursts - I think - the first week of February.
- February 16 - x-rays...because he was still off and DVME said 'This has gone on long enough. His Rads are 100% clean.  DVME says - to be sure, poultice (using a new mix of bran, dmso and Listerine) for 10 days. Reassess at that time.
- February 25 - Farrier comes out with his abscess drill and hoof testers, tells me "Carrie, this horse does not have an abscess" Shoes go back on.
- February 28 - Boss and Kelly show up - I am lunging Chester, Boss says - get ON that horse, that is the only way you will know if he is better. Get on horse, it was a disaster. Shoes come back off.
- First couple days of March - Dr Cove comes out and gives Chester some adjusting...there was a lot wrong with him :-(
- March 6 - I listen to my gut - horse has to go back outside..he was NOT happy about being in his stall, it was doing NOTHING for him and he had turned hopelessly depressed. It broke my heart.
- March 7 - First day Chester has spent the entire day outside in 6 weeks.
- March 9 - Shoes went back on
- March 14 - I ride Chester for the first time again...while he feels stiff, he wasn't head bobbing dead lame.  Just stiff...
- March 15 - April 11 - I ride Chester with the hope that he will become stronger...exactly like what we went through with his UFP a year ago...and while he doesn't get worse, he doesn't necessarily work out of his stiffness as much as I would have hoped.
- April 7 - 11 - Chester pulls in FR shoe, twice in 5 days.
- April 11 - Takes a turn for the worse and he is head bobbing on the lunge
- April 12 - Present - Many conversations have happened about what the Eff is going on with this horse. I want to scratch my eyeballs out. 
Which brings us to today.  I haven't been out to the barn yet, but I am pretty sure I know what I will find when I get there.  A happy horse, with no heat, no swelling anywhere, but who, when on the lunge, will bob, and who, under saddle, will feel like his front legs are made of 2x4s. Sigh.  This is probably one of the most frustrating things I have EVER gone through. 
It has been 3 1/2 months.  And the people I trust most, are all telling me different things.  I am hoping that when we block his foot, he will come up fine...because at least that way we will know (hopefully) where the source of the problem is coming from. 
We will know soon enough, but, something tells me, I'm not going to be that lucky.
There is nothing I can do now, but wait until tomorrow and hopefully have a better idea of what the hell is going on inside my horse.

Chester & The Little Dude...

As I pulled into the parking lot at the barn this afternoon, it was packed. 
My first thought was: Okay, jerks, what was I not invited to?
My second thought was: Great, it is packed and I just wanted some quiet time with my horse.
It was day two of the typhoon which brought snow flakes the size of baseballs (I am not exaggerating), more wind and completely dismal weather at best.  As I walked into the barn, it was quiet, but I saw a gift bag peeking around the corner.  Great, birthday party. Which = a bunch of kids all running around.  NOT what I wanted to be dealing with given everything else that I have been trying to deal with. I have not been in the best of head space lately and the last thing I wanted on a Sunday afternoon (especially after spending time with some of my girlfriends last night and our friend Gibson), was have the barn be hectic.
As I brought Chester into the barn, he was immediately swarmed by little people ranging in age from 2 - 5 years old. "What is your horse's name?" "OOOOOOOO, he is Biiigggg." "Can I brush him?" "Can I pet him?" "Can I give him a treat?"  "How old is he?" "He is brown. I like brown horses."
It was impossible for me not to smile at them...all so eager and wanting to pet the pretty pony and learn about him. They asked me questions non stop.  They all thought Chester was the cat's ass.  He didn't bat an eyelash the entire time there was a bunch of little munchkins all around him.  And the damn horse just ate it up.  I had never seen him with brighter eyes.
All the kiddies were giggling as he would 'kiss' them with him lips as they fed him Mini-Wheats.  He was so gentle, it was beautiful.
What got me the most...was the littlest dude there.  His mom told me he was 2 1/2.  He was looking at Chester with these big brown eyes.
"Hi little dude, I think Chester would like it if you gave him a treat.  Would you like to do that?"
He looks at me with those big brown eyes and nods his head solemnly. 
"Okay, this is what you do," as I put a Mini-Wheat into the palm of his hand. "Hold your hand out flat and Chester will just take it right from you.  Are you ready?"  Another solemn nod.  The Mini-Wheat was pretty much the size of the little dude's hand.
He lifts his hand up, Chester looks down at him...and barley brushes the little dudes hand and snuffs up the Mini-Wheat.  Little dude breaks into the biggest smile I have ever seen and giggles the cutest little kid giggle ever.  And then, little dude reaches up to pat Chester's nose, but couldn't reach.  So, Chester lowers his head so the little dude can reach his nose...and then blows hot air all over him...much to the little dude's delight.
If I didn't know any better, I swear the horse did it on purpose.
It was the cutest thing I have ever seen and another reason why I love my horse so much...

Hair Pulling...

There are several things in life that I will never, ever understand.  Men and horses being on the top of that list.  While my SO might argue with me that men were put on this planet to annoy the hell out us women - okay, that makes perfect sense eh? - I can not and probably will not ever understand for life of me, horses.
At present time - there is a typhoon going on outside.  You know - when the rain decides to hammer you seemingly from all directions and appears to be more horizontal then vertical?  The horses, were not happy about it.  Neither was I.  As I was walking out to get poor Chester, he and his 2 other pasture mates were standing with their butts into the cyclone force winds, noses lowered to the ground.  The only difference with Chester, was that he was shaking, visibly.  He was freezing.  He only had on a rain sheet - because it had been really nice out up until today - and it was obviously not enough given the rain, wind and what I am sure was a minus something or rather with the windchill.  :-( Poor dude. I felt bad for him.
That was, until I led him inside where on the walk in, he pranced the whole way, snorting and arching his neck. Ummm really?  Once inside, he stood trembling because he was so cold (at this point I really did feel bad for him again), so I threw his cooler on and we went for a little bit of a walk in the indoor....that lasted for about 5 minutes because as you can imagine - the wind and rain pounding on the roof made for some interesting noises....not to mention that there were several new xc jumps in there which he thought were hiding places for horse eating monsters...Note to Chester - YOU ARE AN EVENT HORSE...as I stood there watching him balk at a palisade. 
Off the lead rope, he prance/buck/farted around the indoor and I swear to god, the ONLY reason you could tell that he had anything wrong with him, was because I know there is something wrong for him.  I might try to hop on him tomorrow if he trots out the same way.  It will be interesting to see what happens. And, DVME comes out on Tuesday (because she just told me she is at her big breeding farm client all day Monday) to block, so I would like to be able to tell her exactly what I felt the day or two before.
In the meantime, I will try not to pull my hair out trying to figure out just what exactly IS wrong with him.  I think it is better to try to NOT try and sort it all out....especially because at this point, my horse appears to be bi-polar...like our friend Charlie Sheen.
PS - as a word of caution, I would recommend NOT entering 'hair pulling' into Google Image Search.