I am somewhat inspired today because of an article I read at http://www.eventingnation.com/ (the best eventing blog in the Universe) called "Just Do It".
The past couple weeks, have not been easy. At all. And I have constantly been asking myself a lot of hard questions: Is it my fault Chester is hurt? Should I have known his stifles were out? Is he ever going to be able to event? What should I have done differently? The hardest though has been, Why? WHY did this have to happen to Chester, right when he was on top of the World?
What also makes this hard for me, is the people who I would come to expect the most support from, don't really get why I am so upset. I get a lot of "Carrie, he is just a horse" from the majority of the people in my family...well, there is an old expression that goes "People who say it is just a horse, just don't understand". My significant other has unfortunately been on the short end of this stick and he can't understand why I have been upset for the past 3 weeks. So, I have given up trying to talk to him about anything Chester related. It is a total Catch 22 for me: I talk about it with him, he doesn't really seem interested, and throws out 'he's just a horse', so I get annoyed that he reacts that way. I don't talk about it with him, he sees that I am upset and feels like I am taking it out on him....ugh.... how am I supposed to win in this situation?
When stifles are involved, it can be pretty iffy...it is actually very very scary to me to think that I might not ever be able to event him, or have him be more then just a pleasure horse. THAT upsets me more then anything else...why? Because Chester DESERVES more then any other horse, to be great, to be a Champion...because no one ever thought he could.
The prognosis for Chester's recovery is good...as long as I follow my DVM extraordinaire's rehab plan to a 'T'...which I, of course, plan on doing. If we can hit Canterdown on August 15, I will be on cloud nine. If we can't hit Canterdown August 15, well, there is always 2011. One thing I am NOT is patient. This entire situation, this entire scenario, this entire rehabilitation program, this horse's entire future, is dependent on me being patient. I am learning patience through sheer determination that Chester will get better if he is allowed enough time to properly heal.
In the above mentioned article, the author talks a lot about quitting the bitching and just doing what you need to do to get it done. For example: "I was whining about something the other day to a friend of mine (as in I have been whining about Chester and thinking it is my fault), and he looked at me and said calmly (vet looking at me and saying calmly) 'It would appear as though we have lost the ability to get out there and just do it (what is done is done, get over it, make him better and make it happen)." This comment spoke volumes to me.
What has happened, has happened...and there is nothing I can do about that. What I CAN do, is give Chester every single opportunity to get over it, get better and get back down to business. As the author of the above article said: "Maybe it is time for us in our sport to start accepting responsibility for the outcome and just do it.
Okay Chester - Let's JUST DO IT.