Standing there on the mounting block, I started to get anxious…really anxious. What if this was a mistake? I was planning on waiting until January to get back on him…make sure he had fully healed, not to push it. At this point, in the back of my mind, I heard my DVME telling me “He can do with the pushing. He will tell you when he is ready…or if he is not.”
When I saw him galloping around with his tail flung up in the air like some Arab, I knew he was feeling better and that was the best feeling in the World. As I stood there trying to keep my emotions in check all I could think about was OMG – I hope this isn’t too soon. I took a deep breath and felt myself putting my leg over the saddle and then all of a sudden…there I was… sitting on top of the horse who had broken my heart so many times over the past 9 months.
It took me a minute to get myself together…then Chester snorted that “I’m really relaxed and feel good” snort after I got up there and that didn’t help me to get myself together in any way shape or form. I have just sat here for 3 or 4 minutes thinking about how I was feeling when I sat up there for the first time in 7 months and trying to come up with a way to put it into words that would do it justice.
I have never – ever – felt the range of emotion going through me then I did in the minutes standing on the mounting block – fear, anxiety, hope – to swinging my leg over the saddle and sitting on his back again – exhilaration, fear (again), hope (again), pure happiness – to feeling what he felt like when he took his first couple steps – hope, determination, perseverance.
This horse – for some God forsaken reason – means more to me then almost anything else in my measly existence and getting up on his back again was the best 15 minutes of my life.
He looks pretty proud of himself doesn't he?...and I am a total embarrassment to him...aren't I? It's okay though, I think he got over it.